Current:Home > My'Vanderpump Rules' star Raquel Leviss says she has a 'love addiction.' Is it a real thing? -EquityZone
'Vanderpump Rules' star Raquel Leviss says she has a 'love addiction.' Is it a real thing?
Charles H. Sloan View
Date:2025-04-09 01:18:40
Is it possible to become addicted to love? "Vanderpump Rules" star Raquel Leviss − and mental health experts − say it is.
Leviss, who now goes by Rachel and gained notoriety this year for having an affair with her co-star and former friend Ariana Madix's then-boyfriend Tom Sandoval, revealed on the "Just B with Bethenny Frankel" podcast Wednesday she recently learned she suffers from love addiction.
Though love addiction doesn't appear in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which psychologists use to diagnose mental health conditions, experts agree it's a legitimate phenomenon and one that can lead to disastrous consequences.
"You can blow up your life or other people's," says Stacy Thiry, a mental health clinician with Grow Therapy, adding that these people can be driven to affairs, cyber-stalking and other destructive behavior. "It can be dangerous. Oftentimes it can lead to abusive cycles in relationships as well, so it really is something to be aware of."
What causes love addiction?
At its core, love addiction is a form of anxiety characterized by fears of unworthiness and abandonment.
Stephanie Sarkis, a psychotherapist and author of the book "Healing from Toxic Relationships," says people with anxious attachment styles or those who experienced neglect, abuse or abandonment in childhood are more likely to become addicted.
As a result of experiencing absent or fleeting love early in life, these people, she says, crave approval, affection and intimacy as adults, similar to how some may crave drugs or alcohol.
"You feel like you don't have value outside of a relationship, and you put a lot of meaning onto your relationship to the point where you feel like you can't function without it," Sarkis says.
Love addiction can get exacerbated if someone is in a relationship in which affection arrives intermittently and unpredictably, she adds. This causes the person to wonder when their next "hit" of love is coming and, by extension, their brains to crave it even more.
"It becomes like an addiction where you get a hit basically from this person contacting you, and then, if they don't contact you, you can go through anxiety and rumination, obsession about the relationship," she says. "If a person is inconsistent with their attention, our brains tend to get hooked on that, because it's like a drug hit and withdrawal."
Adam Jablin, a certified life coach and author of the book "Lotsaholic: From a Sick to Sober Superman," says he's worked with many clients who had a love addiction that compounded other habits.
Jablin notes a more accurate name for love addiction might be approval addiction, since the rush sought is quite different from the feelings of security found in a healthy relationship.
"A lot of people with love addiction, they're craving approval," he says. "What they're not realizing is that love and approval are two totally separate things."
'Vanderpump Rules' drama:Tom Sandoval, Raquel Leviss, Ariana Madix and forgiveness
Mega Millions reached over $1.5B.When does playing the lottery become a problem?
Struggling with love addiction? Try these tips
If you think you might have a love addiction, therapists offer the following tips:
- Seek therapy: Mental health experts agree love addiction is best treated with the help of a professional.
- Join a support group: Thiry recommends joining groups like Love Addicts Anonymous online, and Sarkis adds 12-step programs like Co-Dependents Anonymous and Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families can also help people cope with love addiction. "Having a group environment can be really helpful, because that can be an opportunity to have healthy relationships with healthy boundaries modeled for you to experience what healthy does look and feel like," Thiry says.
- Figure out your attachment style: Finding out if you have an anxious attachment style through counseling or research can also help shed light on what you're feeling.
- Feel your feelings: "Part of the healing process is getting in touch with feeling your feelings and confronting them and experiencing them," Sarkis says. "It can be daunting for someone that has survived by shoving their feelings down. It can take some work, and progress comes in stages. You want to be really gentle with yourself."
'Vanderpump Rules' reunion highlights:Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix get into heated fight
Many people cheat in the summer.How to prevent it and improve your relationship.
veryGood! (3)
Related
- 'We're reborn!' Gazans express joy at returning home to north
- Meet John Cardoza: The Actor Stepping Into Ryan Gosling's Shoes for The Notebook Musical
- Saint Rose falls in its last basketball game. The Golden Knights lost their NCAA tournament opener
- ‘It was the life raft’: Transgender people find a safe haven in Florida’s capital city
- Opinion: Gianni Infantino, FIFA sell souls and 2034 World Cup for Saudi Arabia's billions
- Prince William and Prince Harry Honor Late Mom Princess Diana With Separate Appearances
- Alec Baldwin Files Motion to Dismiss Involuntary Manslaughter Charges in Rust Shooting Case
- Driver charged in deadly Arizona crash after report cast doubt on his claim that steering locked up
- Meet the volunteers risking their lives to deliver Christmas gifts to children in Haiti
- Tractor-trailer goes partly off the New York Thruway after accident
Ranking
- Former longtime South Carolina congressman John Spratt dies at 82
- Off the Grid: Sally breaks down USA TODAY's daily crossword puzzle, One Alarm (Freestyle)
- Riders can climb ‘halfway to the stars’ on San Francisco cable car dedicated to late Tony Bennett
- Michael Jackson’s Son Bigi “Blanket” Jackson’s Rare Outing Will Make You Feel Old
- Trump issues order to ban transgender troops from serving openly in the military
- Wisconsin Republican Senate candidate Hovde promises to donate salary to charity
- Gypsy Rose Blanchard Shares Why She Deleted Her Social Media Accounts
- Save Up to 60% Off on Barefoot Dreams Loungewear & Experience Cozy Like Never Before
Recommendation
Juan Soto to be introduced by Mets at Citi Field after striking record $765 million, 15
Russian media claims Houthis have hypersonic missiles to target U.S. ships in the Red Sea
Wendy Williams 'lacked capacity' when she agreed to film Lifetime doc, unsealed filings say
50 killed in anti-sorcery rituals after being forced to drink mysterious liquid, Angola officials say
Sam Taylor
Ayesha Curry says being the godmother of Lindsay Lohan's son 'makes me want to cry'
The Best Cooling Sheets to Keep You Comfy & Sweat-Free, All Night Long
Seat belt saved passenger’s life on Boeing 737 jet that suffered a blowout, new lawsuit says